Saturday, July 31, 2010


Around me is all this negativity, darkness, pain, sorrow and agony.

I hope the light shines through these gray clouds soon and that we'll be able to pull everyone into the green fields and bathe in the warm sunlight.

Chins up.
Smile my friends.
Be happy.

I love you all.

Thursday, July 29, 2010


The Deception of dreams...
The devastating destruction of deviations of divine dreams deemed to undeviating damnation dangerously devours dutifully doable deviations of destiny.
Undoubtedly the details of daily devotion distract dreamy dears from detaining the desires deserved...

dead X_x dream time for this dreary daemon... delightful days ahead drawing discovery.

adieu, adieu!

Friday, July 23, 2010


“You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.”

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


Beautiful delicious fruit from the farmers market in Brisbane Square today.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Dreams #1

Have you ever dreamed of the perfect girl, a girl who is instantly burnt into your mind?

Lying in bed I just closed my eyes and dreamed, dreamed of meeting the most beautiful girl ever. Now when I talk about beauty I don't mean just skin deep I am talking about the whole package. Features soft and elegant, a personality that's bubbly and friendly, yet with a little bit of ego.

Her Face.
The most beautiful eyes in the world, eyes that are sharp enough to pierce your reinforced defenses, yet warm enough to cut through your icy heart. Eyes that are kind and caring, and the most beautiful and hypnotizing eye smile.
Eyes that had been shaped by the gods themselves, the curves of the eyeline, the size of the lids, the length of the lashes. The darkness of the iris and the intensity of the colors that keep it afloat.
The perfect eyebrows that frame the masterpiece; a stained glass window into the soul.
The lines from the brows extend down her bridge into her cute button nose, the light troft rolls and peaks at the top of her upper lip, posed and soft. Luscious and gentle. Her lips a half smile, a smirk of amusement,embarrassment and pure innocence.
Her skin, (untainted by the products that many cake,) glowing, smooth.
Light freckles sprinkled under her eyes and her cheeks a soft, pale pink. Subtleties that hold your gaze...


Many of us live a life that is fast paced and rigidly structured on the face of a clock. We have timetables to follow and order to maintain, a class we must attend and a bus that we cannot miss.
Many of our minds are filled with the idea that life is short and the time is of the essence.

Sometime I believe we need to take a step back from reality and just watch as the world flutters by. A moment to be silent and take a moment to open our ears and eyes and just look at the world. Look at the beauty and magnificence around us. Look at the people and what they are doing. Take a moment to see the things that we normally miss and appreciate them.

Everyday a thousand things happen within metres of ourselves.
Everyday the glow of a comely canvas passes through our vision.
everyday the buzz of a melodic masterpiece drifts past our ears.
Everyday we forget to stop and miss them.

When we are all so busy living our lives, please don't forget to just pause and look in awe at what you have accomplished and what the world has provided

"Ah! I have talked quite enough for to-day," Said Lord Henry, smiling. "All I want now is to look at life. You may come and look at it with me, if you care to."

Monday, July 19, 2010


Today I had originally planed to meet up with someone and then go for walk, in my mind i had planed to meet up with them and then just walk, walk across the bridge, through southbank and maybe up to kangaroo point. I wanted to walk and just think and talk.

But this didn't happen.
Instead I lost my motivation and was distracted by other things. The other things i did i enjoyed too but it just the fact that i planed something, and the other party thought that we were going to do that, and then i lost myself and ruined it.

I often want to do things, and say things that are slightly more emotional or intelligent then my normal psycho blabber but i don't, its there on the tip of my tongue but I'm just to afraid to say it.
I've also noticed that I am such a boring person, and a horrible host. I am missing the people skills to communi but we didn't say much, we went to get dinner where i was the only one who ate and the conversation was silence.
I think I just don't know what to say, now to start a conversation that both the other and myself have knowledge about and can continue.

Saturday, July 17, 2010



Medium heighted normal sized pretty asian girl with long styled hair, enjoy salad and health eating. Must be kind, caring and sweet. Enjoy making out and spooning. Must break my heart.

Thanks to Miss Fong

Friday, July 16, 2010


Ignorance is bliss,
but knowledge of power...

Thursday, July 15, 2010


SmiLe smILe SMile smilE smile sMiLe SmilE sMile smIle smiLe SMile SMILE sMiLE


Is currently curled up in the fetal position on my bed.

i love you

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


My awesome catch phrases. Kinda.

Lots Of Violence Everyday.

Losers Adore ME



This morning I woke up and all i could think about was math. Specifically I was mucking around with Integrals and derivatives in my mind. Eventually I put one and one together and came up with this question;

What is the derivative of Love?

So many possibilities, but what is the true derivative?

I'm also going to try and work on another math based item tonight and hopefully share it tonight.


Thanks Tom

Sunday, July 11, 2010


Do you know why they teach you about positive numbers before negative ones in school?

Because the positives are more important than the negatives.


Saturday, July 10, 2010


I right now i feel like being the meanest person in the word, but i don't.
I have the abilities to destroy friends, lives, families and even worlds but I don't.
I hold within myself the knowledge and the strength to inflict great pain and cause much distress, but I don't.
I could share the secrets and desires of my friends, but I don't.
Yet every time someone entrusts me with their heart, I break it.

A physically unexplainable pain that exists inside our chest. A singularity inside of ourselves that expels immense amounts of undiagnosable pain and thousands of confused and intense emotions. This is heartbreak. I cause it.

Human beings are not always aware of what they are feeling. Like animals, they may not be able to put their feelings into words. This does not mean they have no feelings. Sigmund Freud once speculated that a man could be in love with a woman for six years and not know it until many years later. Such a man, with all the goodwill in the world, could not have verbalized what he did not know. He had the feelings, but he did not know about them. It may sound like a paradox — paradoxical because when we think of a feeling, we think of something that we are consciously aware of feeling. As Freud put it in his 1915 article The Unconscious: "It is surely of the essence of an emotion that we should be aware of it. Yet it is beyond question that we can 'have' feelings that we do not know about. - Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson

Friday, July 9, 2010


I've started a new blog called Colours of Love.
The idea behind this is that this one blog will have multiple authors all writing about the main topic of love. With many authors and one topic it would be interesting to see each persons perceptive of love. Hopefully this will get some interest and some authors, eventually i hope to get enough colour's to call it a rainbow.

If you want to join in please let me know and I'll contact you about it.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


[ More Than Invisible - Jason Derulo ]

So many times in the past I have met all these wonderful, smart, beautiful, simply delightful and great girls but they never seem to notice me. I meet them and I get to know them, i try to be sweet and kind and caring. I try to be someone special but they never seem to notice, they just see me as another one of their friends which is quite understandable. These girls are so attractive that its only natural that half the boys in the neighborhood are chasing after them and treating them like princesses but something that annoys me so much is why so many times they go for the self absorbed arseholes instead of the sweet hearts?
There are so many girls i know that are wonderful and so special. (I often look at them and just smile.) Yet these girls always seem to end up with these boys that don't understand what they have. They treat them like dirt and as accessories. Use them, have their fun and then just throw them away and break their hearts. They don't deserve to be treated like that, no girl should. Ever.

What is it that makes men act like total jerks?

Girls should always be treated with love and kindness. Treated with respect and cared for. What happened to the codes chivalry and courtly love? What happened to being a gentleman?

I'm sorry. This post has died and makes no real sense. Maybe just ask me about it sometime because my expressive writing is horrible and currently I am quite tired. Good night.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


rAwr~ Camwhoreagesomemore~

No thoughts in my ditzy head today.

Monday, July 5, 2010



Saturday, July 3, 2010


Sketching and Piano!

A picture by one of my favorite animators of all time.
Her work is so beautiful. Maybe on day I'll share her with the rest of you, but for now, I'll keep her to myself. If you know who this is please keep it a secret?



[Music: The Scientist - Coldplay]
[Mood: Empty]

As I type these first words a chill runs through my chest. I'm not too sure what I'm feeling right now but I know its not happiness or joy. I feel a little bit chilly and a lot of emptiness. I feel like a cheap coat worn on a windy winters night. The Wind cuts straight though me and i offer no protection at all. Useless.
My feet are cold and my nose a little runny, I'm tired and my left eye is leaking again. Listening to this song doesn't help my mood much either.
Earlier this morning I was looking for something I had put away long ago, I thought it might have been in one of my draws and as i went through each one I ended up at the most bottom draw. Without a second thought i pulled it out and i froze. This was the draw that i had put all my memories. All of the things that stirred the memories of my past love. I saw the contents and foolishly decided to flip thought the boxes.
I then closed the draw and lay on my bed, close to tears and my heart screaming at me. Often people talk about the good memories associated with their past lovers but to me its not the good that's important its the bad. After all they are the reasons that they become past lovers.
The other day one of my friends said, "This is the first time we've all been single"
and tired to remember when I became single but i couldn't. Like everything else about her it had become a blur, a smudge in my past. I still try to be her friend but every time i talk to her it still awkward, for me at least. When you have loved someone that much it become easier to hate them so much more. I try to remove all hate and angry from my life, (because i believe them to be such barbaric and primitive emotions) and instead they are replaced with a void. I don't know what to think about her, Every time i see her i get confused. I want her out of my life so badly! (RANT RANT RANT)

- later on -

Yet again i state; I just want somebody to love.
Cupid, where are you? why are you not doing your job?! What is the number for your office, i need to make an appointment.

(insert picture here, i had this fantastic cartoon idea, but i fail at putting it onto paper. SO here is the idea. If someone would draw it it would be awesome!
In the sky there is cupid with the bow in his hand, and he says, "GOD DAMNIT" Next to him is God and he say, "don't blame me, your the one who missed."
Then on the ground there is a pretty girl standing there, next to her is this boy, but the boy is hugging and kissing the vending machine next to him, with a arrow sticking out of both him and the vending machine. Get it? hurhurhur)


Why do the shells of the peanut m&m's taste different?
Maybe its the size, maybe its the texture, maybe it has something to do with the peanut, but no matter the reason, its still a pleasant surprise.
Imagine if life was like a box of chocolates. Oh wait, Someone already did that...
It makes more sense then you think thou doesn't it?
Life is mysterious and reasonless, things happen that you can't control. Sometimes its something bad other time something wonderful. Although this happens in life, it doesn't happen in chocolates.
A box of chocolates;
maybe roses,
maybe seashells,
maybe a bag of mix-up m&m's
they contain an array of different chocolates, but they are still the same. They are all chocolates, and I like chocolates. No matter how many boxes I go through I'll always get a chocolate. If a box of chocolates could really be comparable to life then sometimes you'd unwrap your box, open it, and it would be either empty, or full of jelly beans or something else.
I guess ultimately the thing I'm trying to say is that life isn't like a box of chocolates, but life should be like a box of chocolates. No matter what you get, its still more enjoyable than nothing at all.

My heart might not be perfect, but its still filled with chocolaty love

Friday, July 2, 2010


I often ponder to myself if the concepts of fate and destiny are real or just another fictional abyss created by the words of man. With fate and destiny there must be faith, with religion there must be faith, with out a higher power how can our fate or destiny be set? Are we really just marionettes that play roles in a story to entertain the god? Is it possible that we are mere actors just following the orders of the director? I am i about to break the fourth rule by asking the screen write to make my future better!

Our lives are full of such happiness and sadness. Our days can begin so beautiful and serene and end with tears, pain and hate. If our lives were already pre-scripted then why is there so much to it? why can't our lives just be linear, dull, simple, and make sense. Instead we are given a roller coaster to ride and half the time we don't even understand why certain things happen.

Our minds they often wonder away, atleast mine does. Pondering ever thing, critiquing every move, and asking myself; what if i had done it differently?
Can we change the future?

I believe that our lives are scripted to a certain point. I like to think of life as a road trip, there are points along the way that we have to get to but how we get their is completely dependent on ourselves. I my mind, the beginning is birth and the end is either the point where you reach immortality, or death. In between point A and point B, there are hundreds and thousands of little things we can see do along the way, and its number of things that we tick off that determines how well of a life you lived. Things like
making friends,
and getting hugs,
finding your first love,
and breaking your heart,
buying your own car,
getting married,
going to a funeral,
These are just some of the things that you'd do in your life, but when, how, or even if, are all up to yourself.
we can pray, and hope and wish, but we cannot change the destination of our fate. We can alter the route, or the speed, but the outcome will always be the same.
Live it full and live it fun! Stop thinking too much and just go with the flow, things all inevitably happen. Thinking too much just makes it seem a lot more scary than it really is.