Skipping Stones

In the tranquil realm of time, the jagged pepple of my thoughts chaotically makes contact with the mirror surface of my mind. 

Undergoing Maintenance

So I just had a quick browse through the last dozen posts I made on this blog. What did I do?! It seems to have broken down into some sort of weird twitter, (follow me @narc91 hehe).

Okay this time I'm making a dedicated effort to maintain this part of my life. A spark has shown me a glimmer of what maybe if I can focus my attention. My mindset is wavering but my will is kind of strong. Wish me luck and hopefully I get scouted for a weekly article in Boyfriend Magazine.

1:07am

Hello My friend, Its one of those nights where I have returned to see how you have been. I hope to stay a bit longer this time.

hmmm

The watcher.
the shadow
The shooter,
the fixer,

Dreams and Hopes

Follow your dreams and reach for your stars.
Everyone has their own and don't let anyone tell you you can't ever reach them.
I'm reaching the point in life where things start to matter and people stop thinking about themselves and start thinking about their futures.
I'm reaching the point in life where idealist become realist and optimist become pessimists.
I'm reaching the point where people being to get scared and start to lose sight of their dreams and ambitions and just grab the closest thing.

I'm here to tell you that we're still young and we have not much to lose. Never stop following your dreams, never say no and never miss an opportunity. Search for the things that you want. Work towards them one step at a time. Nothing is impossible. If you never try then you'll never start, if you never start you'll never end, and then You'll never have known.

#6

Had work today in Jackpot. Jasprah and Jaime visited for about 5 hours.

#5

Garlic's birthday dinner today. Korean barbecue all you can eat, i think the place has to shut down now. Highlights of the evening;
What did the pharaoh say to the cleaner? tut-an-kham-un
How did the Pirate beat the Vampire? Garh!-Lic

Also melted a $100 lindt chocolate bunny.

#4

Tired feet.

#3

Worked out a little today. Had breakfast at Oriental this morning and enjoyed the company.

#2

I started my new job today over at Peony and it was pretty enjoyable. I met some new college and broke a glass, made some drinks and served some food. The environment is enjoyable, but I'm scared of what its going to be like when its busy. I'm still nervous because I'm not to sure what I should be doing and if I'm doing every correctly, but time will help.
I'm lying in bed now and my legs have absolutely died. Same thing again tomorrow.

#1

I just got back from Customs house. I room full of Phd's and Doctors, ironic isn't it? that both are Drs. I sat on the same table as a Eye surgeon and a Heart surgeon, two other doctors, two pharmacists, and several other members that help doctrines in respective fields of the health and medical world. I felt slightly under achieving, but alas I still had my youth and health. satire.
I watched a video today as well, a presentation given by an environmentalist who spent 17years in a vowel of silence. Inspirational stuff.
I have decided to begin a journal.
This is day 1

1:06am

Pirates never loved
The way that I do
You never said enough
To keep me next to you

1:29am

Feeling emotional as fuck right now.

11:19pm

Eulogy...

Since the beginning of my memories you have been there and even before. In my mother photos there are photos of you cradling me as a baby and then holding me up with your strong arms as a i slowly grew aware of the function of my feet. I remember spending countless hours with you as I ate my meals, and even sometimes spilling food on you. You never got angry at me, you never shouted at me, you always smiled back at me and supported me no matter what.
You were there with me watching cartoons in the morning and movie at night. You where there when I got my first game console and you sat there with me as I slowly learned how to play.
When I was tired you made me comfortable and let me fall asleep in your embrace.
I saw you everyday of my life. When we moved houses you moved with us but soon after you moved to somewhere else and I didn't see you as often. I still saw you most days, but we interacted less and less. I missed you because no one ever treated me as nice as you did. No one held me as comfortably as you did. No one smiled at me the way you did.
I remember the first time I came home drunk you where there for me. I don't remember how you found me, or how i found you, but in the morning i woke up to see you. You had kept me safe and warm. This happened so many times and every time i had you to lean on. You never let me down, you never gave up on me. You're probably one of my oldest and closest friends and I love you so much. I'll never forget you.

This evening, I came home and something was missing. My white leather couch had been moved out onto the lawn. This week is the week that all the unwanted things get picked up for free by the council and chucked into landfill. My white couch was one of those unwanted item.
You shall never be forgotten, forever in my heart. T.T So many memories.....

12:23am

Like is good right now, I'm not even sure why but I think I know and if your close to me I think you'd have some idea why too.

Sometimes when I'm walking to uni in the morning, or walking home at night; I feel like dancing my soul out.
Sometimes when I'm minding my own business; I just want to sing at the top of my voice
Sometimes when I'm looking at the world go past my bus window; I just want to explore the beauty.
Sometimes when I'm walking next to you; I want to hold your hand in mine.
Sometimes when I'm close to you; I want to kiss you tenderly.
Sometimes when I'm lying in bed; you run across my mind and I smile (because i see myself running behind trying to catchup)

12:55am

I had coffee and cake with a wonderful lady today. I went to pick her up and the moment i got to the elevators the doors opened and there she was in all her splendor. PLUS! she smelt like cookies! omfg cookies! so awesome!

She also likes reading about sex. nuff said.

1:11am

#1436

i love you more than you'd ever know. I, probably, will never tell you

that i do love you this much but everyday i see you my heart screams out to you.

Something about you makes me want to know you and be with you. When i close my eyes at night, all i ever dream of is being with you.
The reality is knowing that the only way i can hold you and kiss you is in my dreams makes my primative cravings the more unbearable.
You would never understand how much i want to hold you one day and just whisper to you the worlds; i love you. Instead, i just sit here in my solitude and repeat the most heart felt words i could probably say to you; I want to love you.
I want to love you because maybe inside i cant love you.
I want to love you because maybe you wont let me love you.
I want to love you because maybe i'm asking for permission to love you.

i love you ______

10:53pm

I was thinking about this letter for you all day today.
here it is;

Dear ______

I want to love you.

From Jon

1:01pm

Happy Birthday Mr. Kim

8:00am

Confessions of a teenage uni student.

And before we start, YES i'm still a teenager.

So sitting in class, waiting for a lecturer to show up to their own 8am lecture yes they are still absent, this is what uni is all about.
I sit in a class of about 50ish~ people of whom I know none. Typical Class for me.
I sit towards the back, along the sides, but not so far back and into the side that i seem like the antisocial, life hating student that I really am.
Scaning ever person to walk through the doors, checking out the girls, and sizing up the boy, and checking out the girls that come in with guys then sizing up the guys to see if its worth the trouble.
Hey guy, welcome to uni!
okay guys, i've got an idea, the moment the lecturer starts i shall dictate what she/he says. Although i do have some awfully slow typing hahahahaahaha.
oh god, i'm already going crazy. I could really do with a coffee right about now, or even better, my bed, and my pillow.
....

8:05am, still waiting,
8:10 OH WAIT! HE's HERE!

so many asians in this class....
quite a few girls too....


OH GAWD! I cant even understand his accent T.T

fuck this, i give up.